Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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