Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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