what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize