Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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