found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Did I show you my penis last night?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
