Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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