Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
