this beer tastes like vomit already
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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