Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
