It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
