By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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