So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
