i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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