evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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