If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
