Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
