don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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