You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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