How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
