Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
