I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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