also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We got so high we made milksteak
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
