So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
