Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
