Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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