the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
