I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How's work?
Spinning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
