Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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