Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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