I love black thongs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
