Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
