Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
