At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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