I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
