i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
