guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
