Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I currently don't understand fingers.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
