you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
