4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
