My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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