Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
