put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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