She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
