you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
