In the future we'll all be gay
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
