We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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