yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
