So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
