she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
