i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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