is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
