We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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