were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize