billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
