I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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