Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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