i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
