Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
