I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
