I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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