Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
