When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
